I've had an interesting scenario develop. A few months ago, a local doctor referred several patients to me for dermatological care, and I was grateful. The patients were happy. Everything was nice. However, a little thing called "snowbird season" happened. In southwest Florida, hordes of retirees from the northern half of the country descend to flee the cold weather from December-May. Often, these patients are in a tizzy to return home in the spring and put off their health issues.
We tried like heck to get a certain lady from Boston with a skin cancer on her nose, referred by this cardiologist. Many faxes and phone calls ensued. She was scheduled. Then she didn't show up. When we called, she said she had to "go back home to Boston".
Today the cardiologists' wife, his office nurse, came in to find out what happened. I told her plainly, you cared more than the patient. The patient didn't care that she had a skin cancer, a colon cancer, a defibrillator, whatever. The patient ultimately is the arbiter of what happens and why. Nobody can force the patient into the medical realm. The nurse looked at me and blinked hard. She is 20 years older than me and she still has a paternalistic view of "we know what's best for the patient". Yes, this is true oftentimes. But people have complicated lives and dramas and if their health isn't their priority, how can it be for us? How can it be for any doctor? We need to step back and accept that people won't do what they need to do. As doctors, we need to accept that maxim, and move on.
Moral of the story, and this is something I stand by 100%: I only want to treat patients who want treatment. Sounds simple, but it's not. I will not treat a husband dragged by his wife who declares there's nothing wrong with him. I will not go to a patient's home and drag them to my office to get a biopsy.
