Exhaustion. Anxiety. Insomnia. GERD/Reflux. Hair loss. Vaccines. To Mask or Not to Mask. To stay home vs. Run Wild. Beaucoup de face/ear/eyelid rashes--I will digress here--papules, pustules, chalazion, atopic dermatitis, angular cheilitis, impetigo, etc. The past 18 months have been like being on the amusement park ride without a restraint and flying upside down at any given and unknown moment.
There will be oceans of words written about the experiment that we've been thrust into without our consent. I will only add my 0.02 cents here, as a practicing middle aged dermatologist. I am a digital immigrant. I still like to pick up the phone and talk to friends. More on this later....
The panic of dying from/with COVID is still present in a small minority of the my patients, and these are comprised mostly of elderly and immunosuppressed. I can't say I blame them. Their systems are vulnerable to the bacteria in their own colons and throat. Modern advanced procedures have them given them new years of life, with a tiny thread of mortality tugging at them that transforms into a ships' anchor rope tugging the off the cliff. A wild new virus will take them out, or at least give them major medical setbacks that may not be survivable.
It's a still a virus that I don't understand. It's entirely unpredictable who will get severe symptoms and ICU/death, vs. a mild case of the sniffles. How can you "have it" and not even know it? How can you not have it and still die from it? Who has delta? who has mu? False positives? False negatives? Mild prior infection? Severe prior infection? Incomplete vaccine course? I can't do it anymore. I'm out of gas. I can't suppose anything. I don't know the truth. The data is soooo bad. The lies and manipulations are enormous. First we're told the hospitals are bursting with COVID. Then a few months later, ooops, about 30% of + patients in the hospital are asymptomatic carriers who only got tested upon admission--a rite of passage now--and got labeled as a COVID patient even if they were admitted for a broken hip. Then we can celebrate summer! No wait, even if you are vaccinated you must still wear a mask!!! Stay home NOW DAMMIT AND DO NOT EMERGE UNTIL YOU GET A VACCINE TO PROTECT THE OTHERS WHO ARE VACCINATED!!
Is the White Rabbit in charge? Alice in Wonderland here is completely appalled and confused by the double, no, triplespeak.
Bounties work. Call it a 'vid patient and the hospital gets a bonus. Hospitals have lost A LOT of money. Insurances are tightening the screws. Nurses and ancillary personal find that if they're exhausted and abused, they can quit and sign on with "traveling" agencies who provide staff for shortages and make double the money. Is there something like this for dermatology?
I read that in in New Zealand, you must not talk to your neighbor. The threat of catching it from a chat across the bushes in the yard is enormous and deadly! Stay in your room and play on your phone! Zoom your job, coworkers, friends!!
Many of my patients over the past 18 months have declined considerably in functional status, health, mental state. Dementia has increased. The once spry octogenarian who went to aqua aerobics twice a week now shuffles along with a walker and has long lank grey hair, afraid to go to a salon for a haircut. No more aqua aerobics because 'vid. No more hair salon visits. No more family or friends...they can kill you by breathing on you.
As I type this stream of conscious flow of vignettes from my recent past, I feel incredibly sad. I'm crying. This is wrong. This is extreme. This is an experiment.
